Time.......Loss & Hope, Future & Past, & Soap

I finished the book.  It wasn't easy.  The majority of the book was following their happy lives.  But by the end you know what's inevitable.  And it's no big surprise.  But you still are never ready.  So I cried and cried while reading for the last hour or so.  And went to clinic all swollen the next day!!!

Why did I read it I wonder?  I think being able to connect and understand with situation and apply it to what's going on around me........it's a way of dealing with it.  Otherwise I will just avoid it.

Strangely enough I feel like this book mirrors our family's life quite a bit.

"But don't you think," I persist, " that it's better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just ok for your whole life?"

Sounds very familiar to something our family has said repeatedly.  It's better to have someone wonderful in your life for a short time than to have an "ok" person forever. (Of course, referring to Dad).

It's been over a year now.  And still it's pretty difficult.  Not unbearable, but difficult.  Something mom has said that I didn't quit understand until recently was how she couldn't believe how some object could still be here, but dad gone.  I find myself thinking something similar.  Man, this may sound crazy.  But I'll say it anyway.  There's some soap I bought October 2008, shaped like a pumpkin.  I didn't use it up last halloween so I saved it and brought it back out this Halloween, and still didn't finish it, so I've been using it occasionally since to get it out of here.  Now that I'm getting to the bottom of the bottle, I am getting a little sad because I think "I bought this while Dad was still alive.  This was here while Dad was alive." It's like when I was a kid, and would use up stickers and would be sad.  Kinda silly.  But still.  

As for the bottle, I'm now having to pump it a few times to get enough soap out.